Running From The Ground Up

I’ve just got back from Barry, from another update meeting for GRIM: A TALE OF DEATH.

So far we’re still waiting on the completion of the entire script, which isn’t too far off. Seeing as the story has moulded slightly, I’m looking forward to seeing what new traits my character will be. At the moment I’ve got some films to look into for research – character based films and war films – to build up a general idea of what will be necessary for filming and acting. I want my performance to be amazing detailed and believable no matter what.

I’ve always felt myself to be at a big disadvantage due to the fact that I never went to Drama school – and can’t even afford to now. I envy my friends who have been. They’ve had that training and learned those skills they never even touched upon at my university. So I’m going for it myself; reading the books, self teaching myself from the ground up.

In a couple of days I’m hoping to get the ‘Stanislavski Toolkit‘ book in the post to skim through and indulge in. I’m really hoping to push myself this year in terms of acting work.

I’ve also gained interest and thought into learning new skills for my CV, such as;

  1. Fencing and Sword Fighting
    There’s a fencing club in Cardiff that charge about £10 per lesson, which sounds both affordable and exciting. I used to do fencing in university, but only attended a few classes. I’d love to carry on the skill.
  2. Horse Riding
    I’ve heard of a couple of places nearby that do horse riding sessions for less than £50. Course, it’s an expensive trait to learn, but something to think about in later days when my money’s a lot better. Certainly something good for the acting CV.

I’ve also contemplated cancelling my cineworld membership card and taking up the new gym above Capitol Centre in Cardiff instead – it’s pretty much the same price. I’ve had my cineworld card for a number of years, but i’ve hardly used it at all. It’s a waste of money really if I’m paying for this monthly membership and don’t use it because there’s nobody at all to go with.

I want to get fit this year. I want to push myself further and further and get myself out of this shitty mess I’ve landed myself in, both financially and career-wise. I know I can do better.

I just need to get off my lazy ass and do it.

Where is my mind?

Just watched FIGHT CLUB all the way through for the first time ever. There’s a lot of Brad Pitt that reminds me of my old college and uni mate, Stuart Moss. But anyway, coming away from that, the film talks about split personalities and what not.

I myself have many personalities that I’ve tended to give names to. Well, I say many, there are currently two: the first of which being ALEX. Alex is the personification of who I want to be – the desire – smart, sexy, overly confident, but mostly he runs smoothly in the areas of impulsive thinking. He’s that voice in your head with the smarmy outspoken attitude towards life – the voice that says “I want that” and “I’m gonna have that” and pretty much does what he wants in an overly confident way. If I were to describe him, I’d say he’s 22 and full of attitude. He’s the guy that sees a hot, attractive girl/guy and says “Oh fuck yes please!” then becomes all flirty and lustful. Then the games begin.

Then, there’s ARTEMOUS – the conscience. The rule maker. The one that says “wow there, if you do this then this will happen, and is that right?”. Arty is the gentleman. The “toff” with the wisdom to see beyond each action, be it good or bad. Always thinking of the consequences. How does he look? Edwardian gentleman in a waistcoat, top hat, frock coat and a pipe. Not to mention the circular moon shades he wears. Maybe even throw in a cane there, and he smokes a pipe. In truth, he looks like a posh, gentlemanly tramp – the kind that Johnny Depp would play. He keeps to the rules and keeps myself in check, often making me do the right thing. But then, he has Alex to contend with, and Alex is like a big teenage kid, always wanting to play and get what he wants. Sometimes, the two are in great conflict with each other, which leaves me with a dilemma.

In the end, the choices I make, forge who I become.

Do you have any personalities in your own life? If so, what are they? What do they look like? And just who are You?